PJO PUNS
by Hexxer07 the Reporter
Summary: PUNS!
1. Chapter 1

PJO PUNS!

* * *

1\. Piper and Jason baby

Baby of Jason and Piper: L-l-l

Piper: Yes honey come on say it

Baby: N-m-m

Jason: Come on sweetie

Baby: Ba-ba

Both: You can do it darling

Baby: Leo-McShizzle-Man-Bad-Boy-Supreme

Jason:

Piper:

Jason

Pipier

Jason:

Piper:

Both: LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

2\. Knock knock

Percy: Knock Knock

Frank: Who's there?

Percy: Who

Frank: "Who" who?

Percy: Aw, come one Frank! Don't tell me you turned into an owl again!

Annabeth: *facepalm*

* * *

3\. Watery joke

Percy: Annabeth, WATER you doing?

Annabeth: Oh god

Percy: Did you SEA waht i did there

Annabeth: Here we go again

Percy: Ha, I'm SHORE you did

Annabeth: Please stop...now

Percy: WHALE then, I DOPHINATELY will

* * *

4\. Power

Percy: I can control water and breathe under it

Jason: I can fly

Leo: I can conjure fire and I'm fireproof

Frank: I can turn into any animal

Hazel: I can control any metal found under the earth

Nico: I can control the dead and talk to them

Piper: I can talk people into doing whatever I want and turn pretty

Thalia: I can control lightning

Annabeth:

Annabeth: I...

Annabeth: ... can think

Annabeth:

Annabeth: wow, thanks Athena

* * *

5\. Alaska

Annabeth: Percy stay put! We're coming to get you!

Percy: So, I should go to Alaska?

Annabeth: What? No! Stay there!

Percy: Alaska is really nice this time of year...

Annabeh: Percy, just stay where you are!

Percy: Frank! Hazel! I want to go to Alaska!

Annabeth: For god sake Percy!

Percy: Onward my friends! TO ALASKA!

* * *

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)

Hope you enjoy


	2. CHP 2 PJO PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Doctor and Me

Doctor: So we are doing a test where i say a word and you say the first word that comes to mind

Me: Ok

Doctor: Pen

Me: Sword

Doctor: Water

Me: Percy

Doctor:...Tree

Me: Thalia

Doctor:...Inventer?

Me: Daedalus

Doctor: War

Me: New York

Doctor: Happy

Me: Percabeth!

Doctor:...Sad

Me: Percabeth in Tartarus

Doctor:...Mean?

Me: RICK TROLL RIODIAN!

Doctor:

Me:

Doctor: You need help

Me: So I've heard

* * *

2\. Hercules and Percy

Hercules: Yeah, I'm a demigod, child of a Big Three

Percy: Oh, yeah? Me too

Hercules: Well, when I was just a baby I strangled two snakes with my bare hands

Percy; Ah, I know what you mean. My mun freaked when i did that

Hercules: I fought the Nemean Lion

Percy; No way! Same. I was, what, fourteen?

Hercules: I've fought a hydra

Percy: Dude, same. Although I wouldn't have been able to kill it without Clarisse, but still.

Hercules: I hunted down Artemis's sacred deer.

Percy: Oh, my friend did that. Chasing deer isn't really my thing though.

Hercules: oh, well...ahh... I fought this massive boar once

Percy: I think I fought it's girlfriend! It was a couple of day before I fought Kronos.

Hercules: *sweat nervously* This one time, I had to clean this stable that hadn't been cleaned for thousands of year.

Percy: Riiiiight. I heard a nymph helped you with that?. I used my own powers. *raise eye bow*

Hercules: I -

Percy: Dude, I could go all day

Hercules: *flustered* I fought AMAZONS -

Percy: Been there.

Hercules: The minotaur -

Percy; Done that. I was twelve

Hercules: I... uh... I've... been to Underworld and back!

Percy: Man, I am sooo sick of that place. Been there like four times

Hercules: Uhhhh... I... *heavy breathing*

Percy: Well, we done here?

Hercules: *triumphant grin* I WAS OFFERED IMMORTALITY.

Percy: Yeah, i turned mine down because i liked this girl...

Hercules: *jumps into river of Styx*

* * *

3\. Weapon

Tris: I have a gun

Harry: I have a wand

Katniss: I have bow and arrows

Percy: I have a pen

* * *

4\. Monopoly

Imagine if the seven play Monopoly together

Hazel we all see you moving the pieces

Piper stop charmspeaking yourself out of jail

No Percy you can't have a swimming pool in your hotel

Leo stop making things with the pieces

Frank I'm sorry there's no Canada on the board but CALM DOWN

Jason

ANNABETH STOP BEATING EVERYBODY JUST LOSE ALREADY

* * *

5\. Bothering Nico

Leo: Ayeeeee Nico

Leo: Where are you planning to nic-go?

Percy: Dang it man just go with the nic-flow

Annabeth: Okay we should nic-slow down guys

Frank: Nic-no thanks

Hazel: guys that my nic-bro

Piper: this is nic-soooo lame

Jason: we are stooping way nic-low with this

Nico:

Nico: im about to jump

Nico:*sighs*

Nico: nic-overboard

all: oOOOOOoooOHHHHHHHHHHHHhhHH

* * *

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	3. CHP 3 PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Percy and Sally arguing

Sally: If Annabeth jump off a cliff, then would you too?

Percy:

Sally:

Percy:

Sally:

Percy

Percy: well, it's a kind of a funny story

* * *

2\. Crossover

Percy: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?!

Harry: Percy, that's Ron line

Percy: Sorry man

* * *

3\. Favorite Food

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Annabeth: pizza with olives

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Jason: Cheeseburger

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Leo: my awesome sauce tacos

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Piper: hot chocolate and marshmellows

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Frank: mac and cheese

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Hazel: gumbo

Percy: BLUE COOKIES

Everyone: WE GET IT

* * *

4\. Math

Percy + Annabeth = Smart Water

Jason + Piper = Lightning Mclean

Frank + Hazel = Goldfish

Leo + Calypso = Hot Magic

Nico + Will = Deadly Machine

CHB + SPQR = Uh Oh...

* * *

5\. Who would win a fight. Jason or Percy

Obviously me - Jason and Percy

Wait what? - Jason and Percy

No! - Jason and Percy

It's me! - Jason and Percy

Calm down guys - Frank and Leo

Woah - Frank and Leo

No - Frank and Leo

.HAPENING?! - Frank and Leo

AHHH! - Jason,Percy,Frank and Leo

... - Annabeth, Hazel, Piper

Boys - Annabeth,Hazel,Piper

* * *

Hope you enjoy it

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	4. CHP 4 PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Puns

Percy: Boy, there's something...fishy...going on here

Annabeth: Yes. It would be...wise...to avoid trouble

Nico: What are you doing? Stop

Jason: Wow, what a...shocking...development.

Leo: Things are...heating up.

Nico: You're all idiots

Piper: Well I think it's quite...

Nico: Don't you dare

Piper: Charming.

Hazel: Why these puns are pure...gold...

Nico: You're all dead to me

* * *

2\. Plan

Everyone: omg omg omg what do we do?

Annabeth:*steps out dramatically*

Annabeth:*hairflips in slow motion*

Annabeth:*puts on sunglasses*

Annabeth:*dramatically holds up a roll of blueprints up*

Annabeth: I have a plan

Percy in the background: *snorts* well that's a surprise

* * *

3\. HP quotes

Poseidon: Is it true you beat up Ares?

Percy: yes

Poseidon: you shouted at him?

Percy: Yes

Poseidon: You called him a wimp?

Percy: yes

Poseidon:...

Poseidon: Have a biscuit son

* * *

4\. Nickname

Annabeth: Hey Seaweed Brain

Percy: Owl face

Annabeth: Kelp face

Percy: So-Called Wisdom girl

Annabeth: Half-Faced Fish

Percy:

Annabeth: WHAT

Percy: Nothing

* * *

5\. Resteraunt

Nico: Can i have water to start, thanks

Percy: *rips off fake mustache to reveal he's actually Percy" I THOUGHT WATER WASN'T YOUR TYPE

Nico: Jessus Christ

* * *

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)

I will DOPHINatly write another one soon


	5. CHP 5 PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Seven Dwarfs

Annabeth - Smarty

Percy - Sassy

Leo - Jokey

Piper - Beauty

Jason - Sparkly

Hazel - Sweety

Frank - Clumsy

* * *

2\. Percy Jackson mix with Harry Potter

Luke: How much are these?

Travis/Connor: 5 drachmas

Luke: How much for me?

Travis/Connor: 5 drachmas

Luke: I'm your brother!

Travis/Connor: 10 drachmas

* * *

3\. Pale as Death

Leo: Hey, Nico, are you okay?

Nico: Not really. Why do you ask?

Leo: Because you look as pale as death

Nico: ...

Nico: Go to Hades, Valdez!

* * *

4\. Lightning thief

Jason: Percy stop stealing my thunder!

Percy: Well, I'm the ... lightning thief

Percy:: *dabs*

* * *

5\. Watery Puns

To all: Funniest joke?

Percy: WATER you doing over there?!

Jason: Percy just don't

Percy: did you SEA what i did there?!

Jason: Everybody already use those puns

Percy: what are you talking ABOAT?!

Jason: and here it comes -

Poseidon: *burts in* SON OH MY NEHOY MEHOY THOSE PUNS WERE PURE GOLD

Percy: AYYYYYYYE

Poseidon: AYYYYYYYYYE

Jason: i will never understand their relationship

Percy: probably because your papa dont love you

Jason:

Jason:

Percy:

Percy:

Jason: did he just

Poseidon: *pats Jason*

Poseidon: It's ok, young one

Poseidon: good dog

Poseidon: Here have some money

* * *

Hope you enjoy

(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


	6. CHP 6 PUNS

Hope you enjoy

* * *

1\. Books

Pansycake: I love Divergent!

Me: Really, who's Uriah?

Pansycake: Who?

Me: *throws book at their face* READ THE BOOK!

* * *

2\. Wrong person (You will understand if watch The Fault In Our Star)

Friend: Oh I've heard about Divergent! It's got like that girl with cancer right?

Me: *facepalm*

* * *

Anthems

Abnegation: "Grenade" - Bruno Mars

Amity: "Happy" - Pharrell Williams

Dauntless: "Die young" - Ke$ha

Erudite: "Beethoven's 3rd symphony"

Candor: "Hips don't lie" - Shakira

Factionless: "The lazy song" - Bruno Mars

Divergent: "Radioactive" - Imagine Dragons

* * *

4\. Fortis

DID YOU KNOW

'Brave' in Latin is

FORTIS

a.k.a

(Four + Tris)

* * *

5\. Faction text slang

Abnegation: wbu

candor: tbh

amity: lol

erudite: btw

dauntless: yolo

* * *

COOKIES!  
(::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)


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